Thursday, December 23, 2010

Saturday, September 25, 2010

Thursday, May 20, 2010

Maude vs Godzilla

Unphased by imminent danger, I distracted Godzilla while Justin Bieber escaped to safety.

Wednesday, May 19, 2010

Ugh

I asked her not to come here. But so long as she was in town, I was determined to crash her speech.

Tuesday, May 18, 2010

It Was Nice of Oprah to Take One for the Team

I was tired of all of the attention, after all.

Monday, May 17, 2010

The Maude Team

After a few days on the set of the A-Team movie remake (2010), I realized there was room for only one B.A. Baracus. So I backed out.

Friday, May 14, 2010

Like I Said: I'm with Coco

Never in my wildest dreams did I imagine Conan would ask me to join him on stage during his "Legally Prohibited from Being Funny on TV" tour.

For Those of You Who Missed Thursday's Episode

I was called in to assist Oprah when she interviewed the cast from the Twilight series. Eat your heart out, lolcats.

Thursday, May 13, 2010

Live from New York

Although initially asked to join Betty White for the Mother's Day episode of Saturday Night Live, I opted instead to do background work, leaving Betty in the limelight she so rightly deserved.

Wednesday, May 12, 2010

Some Say There's a Lot of Tension between Afghanistan and the U.S.

Turns out it's only me.

Hamid Karzai flew into Washington to discuss diplomatic relations with President Obama and Maude Lagata

Wednesday, May 5, 2010

Save It for the Ice, Boys

Though their mothers often threatened to wash their mouths out with soap, something tells me it was always an empty threat.

Monday, May 3, 2010

I Nearly Left When I Saw the Guest List

After all, I'm a proud member of team Coco.

White House Correspondents' Association Dinner

Sunday, May 2, 2010

So Close and Yet: So Far

We were both invited! Unfortunately, a restraining order kept my body 5 paces away from his heart.

White House Correspondents' Association Dinner

Saturday, May 1, 2010

My Arch-Enemy

I will get you one day, my squirrel friend...

...mark my words...

Wednesday, April 28, 2010

Maude for President

I asked them not to run this. While I'm more than happy to serve as an adviser to politicians of all creeds, I myself have no interest in becoming a figure head.

In the End, I Realized He Deserved Neither of Us

Monday, April 26, 2010

My Body May Go On Vacation...

...but my heart is working overtime, dreaming of you.

Friday, April 23, 2010

Maude Ball

Photo courtesy of Time magazine. Sort of.

Thursday, April 22, 2010

Wednesday, April 21, 2010

(Three) Wallflowers

Jakob Dylan is actually pretty cool -- much more level-headed than his father. I just wish the same could be said for that pesky eagle.

Monday, April 19, 2010

Brickin' in the Wind

Four joints later, and nothing could convince Mr. Dylan that playing fetch with a brick -- and a cat -- was a bad idea.

Friday, April 16, 2010

Just In Time for... Justin-Time!

Trust me, Justin. You'll be seeing me... again.

Thursday, April 15, 2010

Maudprah

Though initially tapped to replace Oprah, I quickly realized I had neither her patience nor her sass.

Tuesday, April 13, 2010

Charity Work

Victoria Beckham definitely harshed the mellow in this photo. *I* was there for a good cause. She was there to rub elbows with the Hollywood elite. Just goes to show too much "Posh" is a bad thing.

Betty White and I are cool, though. Can't wait to see her on Saturday Night Live. I might even make a special appearance!

Maude Lagata, Betty White and Victoria Beckham attend the 18th Annual Elton John AIDS Foundation Academy Award Party at Pacific Design Center on March 7.

Friday, April 9, 2010

Monday, April 5, 2010

What are You Looking At?

I told him those socks with those sandals would attract too much attention.

Friday, April 2, 2010

Subliminal Politics

Little did he know that little voice in his head was me...

Right-Hand Cat

Don't Judge Me for This One

If it were up to me, he wouldn't have judicial immunity as a "head of state."

Karzai, Obama and Me

Rumors that I stood between peace and the Afghan people are grossly exaggerated.



My Hometown


Chillin' with Friends


Takin' It In

Surf's Up



Now Do You Love Me?

Waiting for You

Peace Out

Everything was going just fine until he called security.

I Would Do Anything

Yeah, I hate being in the water. But these are the sort of sacrifices we make for love.

Even if love doesn't know you're watching.


This Woman is Out of Control

She must be stopped.

Move Over, Joan Rivers (Academy Awards, 2010)




Next Up: Universal Pet Care


You're Welcome


Generally Speaking, I'm Not Much of a Fighter. But This Man Needed to be Schooled


Hedwig


I had a *little* fun with Hedwig, and the director flipped out.



Sloane was Peeved because They Gave Me Cooler Glasses


Maude's Neighborhood with Mr. Rogers


The Maude Squad

I Didn't Like the Way He Looked at Me

So I quit.